lv. a secret place

The room is softly lighted and the bed low and ample. The women are cheerful, and they washed themselves. How the taste for things must wear down with so much automatism. We watch the big woman tie a penis on herself, a rosy thing, a caricature. And they take poses, nonchalantly, professionally...

Hugo and I look on, laughing a little at their sallies. We learn nothing new. It is unreal, until I ask for the lesbian poses.

The little woman loves it, loves it better than the man's approach. The big woman reveals to me a secret place in the woman's body, a source of a new joy, which I had sometimes sensed but never definitely -that small core at the opening of the woman's lips, just what the man passes by. There, the big woman works with the flicking of her tongue. The little woman closes her eyes, moans, and trembles in ecstasy. Hugo and I lean over them, taken by that moment of loveliness in the little woman, who offers to our eyes her conquered, quivering body. Hugo is in turmoil. I am no longer woman; I am man. I am touching the core of June's being.

I become aware of hugo's feelings and say, "Do you want the woman? Take her. I swear to you I won't mind, darling."

"I could come with anybody just now", he answers.

The little woman is lying still. Then they are up and joking and the moment passes. Do I want...? They unfasten my jacket; I say no. I don't want anything.

That moment alone stirred my blood with another desire. If we had been a little madder... But the room seemed dirty to us. We walked out. Dizzy. Joyous. Elated.

We went to dance at the Bal Nègre. One fear was over. Hugo was liberated. We had understood each other´s feeelings. Together. Arm in arm. A mutual generosity.

And when we returned home, he adored my body because it was lovelier than what he had seen and we sank into sensuality together with new realization. We are killing phantoms.

Anäis

liv. dioses menores

Inge se recogió el pelo dándole una sencilla vuelta y se ciñó el pañuelo alrededor de la nuca. Extendió luego un lienzo sobre el suelo de teja roja y se acostó boca arriba para recibir la caricia asfixiante del sol de julio que incendiaba la tapia.

Llevaba una braguita azul con encaje rosa, toalla blanca alrededor del pelo. Uñas lacadas en los pies, de color blanco y piel untada en aceite. Su piel nácar, salada y brillante, también blanca.

Ningún otro aderezo, pura esencia. Nada más en el mundo.

Inge entregando su ofrenda al sol, bañada en él. Un dios y su concubina follando juntos.

Y yo, triste de mí, mirando.

53. draft

Just in front of my work desk, in my office, there´s a window opened to a tiny garden where couples go for privacy, to kiss them and play.

"When I was a young girl I used to seek pleasure..."

I can see them daily as if I were beside them. In these occasions I usually look for an erotic web site in internet, not a hardcore but a soft web, and I enjoy myself taking a view photos whereas I staring at them.

"When I was a young girl I used to drink ale..."

I enjoy with this insane play, thinking of I´d like to make her if I were him, and sometimes if I were her…

"... Come mama come papa and sit you down by me ..."

52. partida

Los 26 años es el momento de más esencial partida para el individuo. Hasta entonces vive en grupo y del grupo.

La adolescencia es cohesiva. El hombre, durante ella, ni puede ni sabe estar solo.

Pero en esta jornada del curso vital el individuo parte hacia su exclusivo destino, que es en su raíz, solitario. Cada cual va a cumplir a su modo la misión histórica de su generación.

Porque cada generación no es, a la postre, sino eso: una determinada misión, ciertas precisas cosas que hay que hacer. Nuestra vida, la de cada cual, es el diálogo dinámico entre "yo y sus circunstancias".

Ortega